I had a break for two days this weekend off work which I am forever grateful for - days spent just laying around soaking the fall sun.

I hate free time because I start thinking and pondering again; this time about fear.

I am an optimist by nature - I do many things more for the purpose of finding what will happen instead of planning everything meticulously. And so far, it works out ok.

On the other hand, there's always this feeling of fear I carry everyday, of decisions that I have made or will have to make and about uncertainty of the future.

It has always been there. It does not get worse but it doesn't get better either. Day after day. My monkey brain is worrying about survival and I think it's one of factor why I tend to work a bit over.

I have no safety net. I burn the bridge that can take be back to the previous ravine.

I am always running out of time !!!!

The more things I accomplished, the crazier things I attempt. There's always a new venue to play in - unfamiliar territories and unpredicted challenges.

I fear so I do.

Monkey brain, you can take it out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of it.