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The last time I saw my parents I was still 23. I am 28 now.

It's funny that saying "I haven't been back for 5 years" is less of a deal than saying "I was 23 the last time I came back home".

I was closer to 20 back then. Now I am closer to 30.

What will I find back home? How would they perceive me?

If my old friends met me, what questions would they ask? How would I feel about them or they about me?

(A view of Tarakan Island - tin roofs !!!!!)


I shall find out soon :)

I had a break for two days this weekend off work which I am forever grateful for - days spent just laying around soaking the fall sun.

I hate free time because I start thinking and pondering again; this time about fear.

I am an optimist by nature - I do many things more for the purpose of finding what will happen instead of planning everything meticulously. And so far, it works out ok.

On the other hand, there's always this feeling of fear I carry everyday, of decisions that I have made or will have to make and about uncertainty of the future.

It has always been there. It does not get worse but it doesn't get better either. Day after day. My monkey brain is worrying about survival and I think it's one of factor why I tend to work a bit over.

I have no safety net. I burn the bridge that can take be back to the previous ravine.

I am always running out of time !!!!

The more things I accomplished, the crazier things I attempt. There's always a new venue to play in - unfamiliar territories and unpredicted challenges.

I fear so I do.

Monkey brain, you can take it out of the jungle but you can't take the jungle out of it.

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Now we can go back to our regular lunch hour :)

The street is still dusty but you'll be missing the people that used to crowd these paved soil during the normal day. The beer shop now opens for business again after a one month sabbatical, the butcher is closed, but surprisingly there are plenty of businesses open today.

I am not the only one working on this Eid.

McDonald is packed by kids. The supermarket is buzzed with swirling busy bodies in and out carrying their precious items.

From today's observation I think Eid in Indonesia is much more visible than the one I observe today in Cairo. In my island, you will see an army of kids wearing their bright and brand new clothings marrauding open doors from neighbours that celebrate Eid. People open their doors and provide cookies, candies, drinks to strangers during Eid. Two days of Eid (and Chinese New York) are essentially kids happiest days in Indonesia. Coke and Candy, what else would a kid need?

Most people I know are out of Cairo, mostly Sinai, frollicking with flirty sun and swaying with gentle breeze of the red sea.

I have been working for 20 days without a single day off; but soon I will get a respite for all of these craziness - my girl is back in town this weekend :) But I love my work and having another person to restraint me from some excess is a good thing.

"The destruction wreaked in Bali was as much of a surprise to Indonesia as it was to Australia. Bashir had won political patronage among Indonesia's moderate Islamic politicians and there had been a steadfast refusal among the power base to recognise anything like an Islamic insurgency in their midst. Despite this, the Indonesians showed an extraordinary willingness to brush aside their issues of sovereignty and allow the Australians to work side by side with them in every aspect of the investigation, from forensic sampling at the bomb scene to identifying and prosecuting the bombers." (The Australian)

Bali bombing was a closed cased. We nailed everybody involved in it and the quoted article tells the story behind the successful investigation.